Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will
kill your enemies. – NELSON MANDELA
Forgiveness is a door to peace and happiness. It is a small,
narrow door, and cannot be entered without stooping. It is also hard to find.
But no matter how long the search, it can be found. At least that is what the
men and women do as suggested by The Evangelical Ushers of Rock of Ages;
perhaps you, too, will be led to the door of forgiveness. Just remember that
once there, only you can open it.
A few years ago, while on duty as The Head of Operations of
The Security Department at Springs Communications, I was battered, attacked and
wrongfully accused multiple times. I’m not going to tell you the details here –
You will have to read on, keep track and get to read one of my books, precisely
“ The Evolution”. I spent the next month and a half in Air force Base Sickbay.
And for most of that period my situation was touch and go. I came close to
dying, and when I’d pull out of those patches, I wasn’t always sure I even
wanted to live. Fortunately, I received a great deal of love from family,
friends, and supporters, which helped pull me through those difficult days.
Afterward, something gave me a new focus and strengthened my will to live; my
now separated wife Karen Mathe who confidently supported the adoption of our
first child.
Shortly after Daniel was abducted we had a press conference.
Karen Mathe spoke for both of us. She told everyone how grateful I was to be
alive and how proud I was to be The Head of Operations of the Security
Department at Springs Communications. She said then as the head of security I
had always wanted to help others, and that being financially and emotionally
paralyzed hadn’t changed that desire. Then she announced that I had forgiven
the people that blackmailed me and who tried to murder me.
Everyone seemed astounded, and ever since that day I’ve had
people ask me, “WHY? Why mannie, why did you forgive them?” They say, “I cant
even get along with my sister” (or their brother, or mother or dad)” and they haven’t
really done anything to hurt me. They’re just mean. So how on earth could you
do such a thing?”
Again, I’m not going to get into the details except to say
that I needed healing-badly-and found out that the only way forward was with
love. And I learned that one of the most beautiful expressions of love is
forgiving. I know that will sound illogical or impossible to some. Others will
find it downright ridiculous. But I’m talking as one who has lived through
this.
You see, I grew up in an alcoholic and drug inflated
household. My father was never there for us, my mother was a raging alcoholic and
consistently on medical drugs dosage, and when I say raging, I mean pots and
pans being thrown. Demoralizing torturing on the children. I can remember her
throwing chairs and saying all sorts of curses. It took me years to forgive my
father and mother of all the barbaric actions and unthinkable decisions. Why?
Because I wasn’t living in the present.
If you want to know what that has to do with forgiving, let
me tell you; with bitterness, you’re always dragging yourself back, in your
mind, to the past. You keep reliving things people did or said to you, over and
over and over. And in the long run, no one can live in two places at once like
that-in the past and the present. It’ll drive you to the grave.
Bitterness, as
the previous story show, is more than a negative outlook on life. It is a
power-and a destructive and self destructive one at that. Like a cancerous
cell, a dangerous mold, or a spore, it thrives in the dark recesses of the
heart and feeds on every new thought of spite or hatred that come our way. And
like an ulcer aggravated by worry or a heart condition made worse by stress, it
can be physically as well as emotionally debilitating. In fact, if not
addressed and taken care of, bitterness can lead to death.
·
Believe in Miracles (Hope for a great sea-change
on the far side of revenge. Believe that a further shore is reachable from
here. Believe in miracles and cures and healing wells. – SEAMUS HEANEY)
SpringsComm Reporters:
I have lost my daughter, and we shall miss her. But I bear
no ill will. I bear no grudge…That will not bring her back…Don’t ask me,
please, for a purpose… I don’t have an answer. But I know there has to be a
plan. If I didn’t think that, I would commit suicide. It’s part of a greater
plan…and we shall meet again.
Mr. Oluwafemi Omatsheyinmi
Recited by millions
from childhood on, the Lord’s prayer includes the plea, “Forgive us our debts,
as we forgive our debtors.” Familiar as it is, I often wonder whether we
sufficiently consider their meaning. To me, at least, they imply that once we recognize
our own need for forgiveness we will be able to forgive. This recognition does
not come to most of us easily, because it demands humility. But isn’t humility
the essence of forgiveness?
In a chapter of the Gospel of Matthew known as the
Beatitudes, we are told that the meek will be blessed and inherit the earth. And
in the parable of the unmerciful servant, Jesus warns us not to treat others
anymore harshly than we would want to be treated.
In my experience,
the strongest motivation for forgiveness is always the sense of having received
forgiveness ourselves, or-if we do not have that-awareness that, like everyone
else in the human race, we are imperfect and have done things we need to be
forgiven for.
In a passage of the
Gospels known as the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus teaches us not only to love
our enemies, but even to “bless” those who persecute us. It wasn’t just a
sermon. When we love someone who hates us, an ancient Hebrew proverb tells us,
we “heap burning coals on his head.”
A text from the book Strength
to love by Martin Luther King- love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into a friend. Forgive when reconciling is impossible.
See how a smallest resentment can blossom and bear deadly
fruit.
A Poem titled “A Poison Tree” by William Blake -
I was angry with my friend.
I told my wrath, my wrath did end.
I was angry with my foe:
I told it not, my wrath did grow.
And I watered it in fears,
Night and morning with my tears;
And I sunned it with smiles,
And with soft deceitful wiles
And it grew both day and night,
Till it bore an apple bright;
And my foe beheld it shine,
And he knew that it was mine,
And into my garden stole,
When the night had veiled the pole:
In the morning glad I see
My foe outstretched beneath the tree.
Article
by Evangelist Emmanuel Binitie
